From Divorce Court to Loving Reconciliation!
Told from Personal Experience
This woman had all the knowledge and training in the world she would ever need, to have a happy, loving marriage. In fact, her expertise was in transforming the lives of children, adolescents, and families. She was a professional counselor, educator and consultant.
She had achieved a Master's Degree in Educational Psychology and had worked with thousands of children in the educational system, utilizing her transformative power and knowledge to heal and improve the lives of all those she touched.
When the time came for her to have children of her own, she found that while the emotions were considerably more intense, she could still apply what she knew would work to help her children grow into safe, productive and self actualized and happy individuals.
But when it came to her own marriage, she was failing miserably. While she was transforming other people's families and children, her second marriage was in a constant state of turmoil and disconnection.
One day, six years into the marriage, after the four-hundred-thousandth fight about whatever it was that it always was, her husband packed a bag and left. There was literally no way to reach him. She knew that this time was different. While they'd had blow-ups before, she knew that he had just closed a door on their marriage for good.
She knew this was it. She could feel that his heart had truly left their relationship.
In fact, she had been feeling it for some time. She had a "psychic" feeling that he had already "connected" with someone and had an intention to pursue her immediately upon leaving his marriage. This knowing cut her to her core. It hit her where her deepest, and most painful fears and failures, lived. She could feel him headed to another woman. She just didn't know exactly who, but she knew something had taken place out there in the real world that had allowed him to cut bait and go.
The total realization that her marriage was over was unbearable. The realization that there was another woman, sent her through the floor. Never mind about all of the other problematic issues of the marriage.
She'd had huge, painful losses before - a child loss at birth, her first marriage - and she did not think she could endure this level of loss again.
She immediately called her advocates and told them what had happened. The first step was to decide what she wanted. Did she even want this man and this marriage, after all?
She had a way out now. She'd been unhappy for years with the constant resistance, fussing and fighting every inch of the way for the things she really wanted him to honor and do in his treatment of her.
God, she was tired of being the bitch and the "responsible one."
As her advocates allowed her the space and time to vent and cry and replay her victimization, she began to get clear about what she really wanted. This is the point of setting relationship goals after all: get clear about what you really want and then set an intention to have it. You don't rush about trying to make it happen and don't concern yourself with "how" it will happen. You just set the Principle in motion for it, and with each goal and request you formulate, you are deliberately setting the energy in motion to invoke it to unfold for you in expected and unexpected ways.
She had utilized this Principle for over a decade at this point, most specifically for building a highly lucrative, life-enhancing business. She had used it to benefit her children, especially in times of their young life challenges. She knew how potent and powerful it could be to ask another, like-minded person / friend to vision with her for end results and have them orchestrated easily and beautifully.
And yet, this situation looked too big and too impossible to even hope that they could get back together again. Especially since she felt the presence of another woman now violating her marriage.
She knew his love for her was gone, and how in heaven's name do you use this Principle to get somebody's heart back into the game so you can try to convince him to do more work that he clearly didn't want to do in the first place!?
Ah yes, that was the million dollar question.
Despite the appearances of an impossible situation, a person always has the power and the authority within them to come up over it.
Getting him back wasn't the only issue. There would still be the initial problems within the marriage. The things she had been fighting for in the first place.
The question now was: could she get past the years that had been eaten away by her anger and resentment at the pain, indifference, selfishness, abuse and now, very soon, another woman?
So there it was. A most impossible situation. His heart was no longer in the marriage. He moved his things and set up his business in a city three hours away, the divorce papers were filed and were well underway. It appeared that there was nothing she could do to stop him.
As word traveled among their friends of their impending divorce, many would come up to them (individually) and tell them how much better off they were without the other. Many would now freely offer their "opinion" of the other, as if it somehow justified divorce or that they were "right" about the person, after all.
She was shocked at how casual people were about her divorce: to realize that people treated her divorce as if it was an acceptable outcome to a relationship with unresolved problems. Not one person who approached her to say they were sorry asked her if it was what she really wanted. She became very aware of how accepting our society has become of divorce as the only real alternative to marital difficulties.
After much soul searching and refusing to simply accept the appearances, as well as the reality that his heart was out of it and moving on in new directions, she decided she wanted her marriage. She still wanted it to be all that she knew it could be, even though he was, and had been, very resistant to the work she wanted him to do. How crazy is that? She's going to use the Principle to reconcile marriage with a man who resists and fights her on the very work and changes in behaviors that need to be made to make things loving and harmonious!?
She called up her advocates, and began formulating requests to meet each and every painful situation and condition that was headed her way as the divorce continued to move forward.
Because of the power of this phenomenal Principle, she had begun receiving new insights, new resources, new deepening and understanding of what was going on and what needed to happen. She was deeply remorseful for her part in the problems, but forgiving of herself and of him. Things were being orchestrated for her to come to herself, to see how she had participated in getting more of what she didn't want, and what she needed to do to alter habitual behaviors and outcomes. More importantly, there was new energy moving through her - in ways it never had before.
New understanding was beginning to be revealed to her as she allowed him to speak his deep-seated, unresolved anger at her. She took it all. It was painful. It cut to her core.
Finally, he announced he was seeing somebody else. He even told her who it was.
After every painful exchange with him, either by phone or email, she would call her advocates and make requests for different results, healing results. Little by little things began to unfold differently.
There were times when she was in such pain and fear that she called her advocates daily. There were times she would call late at night, weeping and grieving over the fear of loss. Her advocates were committed to see this thing through with her. There was even a level of determination because they all wanted LOVE TO WIN - not just for her, but for themselves and for the World. They all wanted concrete evidence, once and for all, that love really could heal all things.
Each and every time she would ask her advocates to "see" the results she wanted, she would feel better and stronger. Her focus and her desire were laser-like. She would not be deterred by "appearances." She knew enough about the Principle to know that, when you have a third invisible mind present, because of a spirit of agreement and harmony, THINGS START HAPPENING for the better. There are events and people and situations that are orchestrated for the good of the whole.
In some instances, she would even get wind of things as they were unfolding. The night that he slept with this other woman, she psychically knew that it was happening. She was overcome with grief over the appearance of loss, of physical and emotional betrayal. She immediately got on the phone again, and asked her advocates' support in knowing that his sexual encounter with this woman would be unsatisfying.
As dead set as he was to divorce her, there were things occurring in her favor, because she decided she would take advantage of the fact that she was entitled, through their sacred marital agreement, to reconcile their marriage. She was entitled to "first rights" on her husband. And any other woman messing around with her man, would simply be a nothing experience.
The universe was responding, she could feel it. She knew she could not stop him from the action he was determined to take. But what she knew she could do, was participate in the probability field of an outcome that could ultimately reunite them if she could just remain laser focused on the end result and the end result only: reconciliation.
She was ENTITLED to her marriage. And that's the Ace she decided to play in the process of saving her marriage.
It took a consistent approach and repeated vision and the power that comes through the process of utilizing this Principle. Four months later, he called one day out of the blue and told her they needed to talk. It just so happened, she was driving over the mountain at the time the phone call came in. She was on her way into the city to fly out for work. He told her he would meet her at the airport.
They met. They talked. They touched and then they held each other for the world of travelers to see. He said he could not believe he was doing this, but for some reason, he felt compelled to reconcile even though he had been certain that he had closed the door to a future with her.
Over a period of the next two weeks, much was discussed and, little by little, the power of the Principle had moved through them both in ways they could have never predicted. The process had changed them both, at depth. They reunited, and have been utilizing the Principle together since.
As you may have guessed, that woman was me. And I'm here to explain to you that you don't have to do this alone any more. I'm here to teach you exactly how you can bring health and reconciliation to your marriage. I'm here to teach you exactly how one of you can bring the two of you back together again with the "seeing power" of your friends i.e., advocates / partners. And not for a repeat performance of all that has been.
Mary Robinson Reynolds